Wow. No posts in weeks and seven new followers. Alright.
This blog is going to be going through a big revamp over the next few weeks. The wake up call with the ED has shown me I need to focus more on being happy, healthy, and positive than trying to change my body. Focus on the healthy and the change will come.
The next months will hopefully bring posts about my yoga work study, pictures of yummy food, and some motivation. They might even bring me to a brand new blog, but I haven’t decided yet. I’ll keep you updated.
4:57 pm • 3 July 2012 • 2 notes
Update - Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder Things
Today has taught me something that I did not want to admit: I am still suffering from my eating disorder.
I might not restrict anymore, and I eat relatively healthy, and I get a healthy amount of calories, but my disordered thoughts and feelings of discomfort about the way I look are still here and in full force.
Today, I saw one of my uncles for the first time in six months. The first thing he says is “What’s wrong with you? You look so thin.” He then goes on for a few minutes about how I need to make sure I’m eating enough because I look unhealthy and asked if I was starving myself and I couldn’t fucking take it. I started crying, and had a pretty hard time stopping.
I was a little hormonal, and overtired, but still. It was a pretty strong reaction, and I don’t know if it was entirely appropriate. Nonetheless, it’s been making me really think about my relationship with food right now, and it’s not what I want it to be. When I get back home, I think it’s time I book an appointment with a nutritionist.
I’m still going to start my raw week on Monday, and see if that helps me get more in touch with my body and what it needs. This disconnect I have is pissing me off now, but I don’t seem to be very successful at reconnecting. I really want to get through this, and as much as I wanted to do it on my own, I think it’s okay to need help right now. Hopefully seeing the nutritionist will be just what I need, and if not, they can help me figure it out.
So yeah. That was my day. How was yours?
12:05 am • 3 June 2012
Hey everyone =]
Sorry for my lack of posts - eating has been weird, and I haven’t been on the computer much. Intakes should start again tomorrow! I don’t know if I’ll be tracking calories as much, but knowing I have to post what I eat will help keep me from eating coconut milk ice cream and french bread with chocolate hazelnut butter for dinner
not like I did that.
Gunna take the puppy for a little jog tomorrow as well! It’ll be nice to having a running buddy who doesn’t mind when I need to stop for a bit haha.
9:35 pm • 1 June 2012
Intake/Exercise: May 30th
B: just over 3/4 cup Kashi Toasted Berry Crisp, 1/2 a banana
S: pear, apple
L: 2 open faced sandwiches (2 slices flax bread, 1 roma tomato, 1/4 of an avocado - mashed, salt and pepper)
S: apple, 1/8 cup Kashi Toasted Cinnamon Crisp (finishing things up before I leave!), 2.5 cups air popped popcorn
D: protein smoothie
Drinks: 1L water, 3L green tea
Food calories: 1346 (14F-68C-18P)
Loads of walking! To class, around the mall, and a bit downtown.
Exercise calories: -259
Net calories: 1086
A lot happier with my macros and food over all today! Also about half raw, so that’s awesome. One week all raw starting June 4th! It’s going to be weird, and relatively difficult, but I’m ready! Heads up, I’ll be sharing what I ate on those days, but not taking calorie counts as I’ll be doing juicing and I’m honestly not sure how much that effects the calorie counts of things. In any case, there will be lots of yummy food pictures =] Tomorrow is going to be crappy because I’m traveling all day (in airports from 6am to 9:30 pm), but I’ll probably make an intake post anyway.
9:13 pm • 30 May 2012
Use mashed avocado instead of mayo/miracle whip/veganaise. It tastes just as good and creamy, but it’s WAY better for you.
2 tablespoons veganaise: 180 calories, 18g fat
2 tablespoons mayo: 194 calories, 21.5g fat
2 tablespoons miracle whip: 80 calories, 7g fat
2 tablespoons avocado: 48 calories, 4.2g fat
3:34 pm • 30 May 2012 • 5 notes
Intake/Exercise: May 29th
B: slice of flax bread with natural PB, banana, apricot
L: so much steamed broccoli (like, 5 cups before I steamed it), roasted chickpeas
S: pear, 2 squares cherry almond dark chocolate
D: protein smoothie
Drinks: 1L water, ~3L green tea, ~3L berry herbal tea - another day of too much tea, not enough water. A lot of fluid though, and unsweetened tea isn’t the worst thing I could be drinking I suppose.
Food calories: 1374 (19F-60C-21P)
Not enough. I’ve been working on an assignment that’s due tomorrow
and procrastinating on tumblr a bit so today was just walking to and from class and around the grocery store a few times.
Exercise calories: 87
Net calories: 1286
Of course my ratios go back to 20/60/20 right after I say I want to work on changing them. My goodness. Otherwise, I think today was pretty good. Lots of whole fruits and veggies, which I like. Good preparation for my one week raw diet. I think it’s going to be really difficult, especially considering how much good island food that I’ve been missing will be around, but I can do it!
6:11 pm • 29 May 2012
I realized that I’ve gotten a decent amount of new followers recently, which is awesome. I’m so thankful that there are other people out there supporting me in this =] I also realized that I don’t have a lot of information about myself on here though, so here it goes.
My name is Katt, and I’m a 20 year old university student. I’m 5’6”, and the last time I weighed myself I was 122.4 lbs. I’m a vegan, and while I eat a mostly healthy diet, I’m a big fan of having a treat here and there (hence my blog title!) When I start to stress too much over eating completely clean and whatnot, I end up bingeing and getting in an awful mental state reminiscent of when I had my eating disorder.
On that note, I had an eating disorder from about 15-17. It would have technically been considered ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) as I was never below an 18.5 BMI, but I had symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia over that period. I don’t like to talk about it too much, but if you ever have questions about recovery, or need to talk to someone, my ask is always open, and anonymous is always on.
Even at the height of my ED, I was never that into exercise, and when I was, it was pretty much only cardio. Last year I got into hot yoga for a bit, but then life and school caught up with me and I had to stop doing it. I’ve been interested in eating healthy and getting stronger for awhile, but never really wanted to put the effort into either of those things.
About a month and a half ago, I started going to a nearby gym and tracking my food. A little over a week into that, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me. I spent a few days moping, but then I channeled those feelings into really committing to a healthy lifestyle and finally getting the strong body I’ve always wanted. My goal isn’t to lose weight - if anything I’ll probably end up gaining some by the time I’m where I want to be. My goal is to gain muscle, and most specifically be able to bench press at least half my body weight.
In terms of what exercise I do, cardio isn’t my favourite, but I’m working on strengthening my legs enough to run on a regular basis. Weights still make me a little self conscious, because I’m always worried my form is wrong, but I find it a lot more enjoyable to do 30 minutes of strength training than 30 minutes on the elliptical now! Recently I’ve started taking Bikram yoga classes, and I really love them. My journey to fitness had been a long time in the making, but I think that the past month has been the real start of it!
I have a lot of interests outside of health and fitness as well though! Some of the things I like reading/watching/consuming/listening to/doing are: Harry Potter, tea, An Horse, collecting (mugs and fancy soda bottles), The Avengers, cooking and baking, Tegan and Sara, cupcakes, A Song of Fire and Ice/Game of Thrones, LGBTQ stuff, social justice, Hunger Games, reading, fruit, Kimbra, knitting, writing, Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra, turtles, and John Green everything!
So that’s me. Tell me about you?
2:26 pm • 29 May 2012